I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize