I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize