If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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