I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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