I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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