I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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