i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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