He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
