I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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