I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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