Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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