you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
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You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
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I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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