It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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