so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
