he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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