areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
