garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
