Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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