Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize