If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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