Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize