i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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