saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
nutella sex= disaster
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job