I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Soap is not a condiment
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do