I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
bring money and cleavage
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Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
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OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs