I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.