Have you finally orgasmed yet?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
your room smells of hookers.
And success
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize