um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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