walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
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my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
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Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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