dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize