Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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