We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
