Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
