whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I cut my penus on the lid.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
