your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize