you would pick up someone in the library
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
