you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
