his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.