She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.