Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
