I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
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i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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