I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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