I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize