Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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