I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
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Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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