He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
