Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize