her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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