Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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