I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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