is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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