Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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