You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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