opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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