I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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